Luv and Relationships - Latest Comments

Re: Dealing with Disappointment

JustaGirl — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 13:14:27 -0000

This is a nice article...in theory. But i think its just cusioning the "hurt" & disappointment you're feeling or will feel if this were to happen. What about the "He's just not that into you" theory that if a man really likes you,he will stop at nothing to try to be with you or spend time with you? And the bf/gf thing-if a guy really likes you,there is no conversation needed to discuss the introduction of bf/gf..you just know. I DO agree with the "don't rush your timeline" thing, though. I see women rushing or raising expectations too high sometimes, and i believe alot of disappointment can stem from that. "Take it day by day & enjoy the moment" is the best advice for everyone!

Re: My (not-so) Secret Issue with Being Submissive

Nella — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 19:34:54 -0000

Have you been reading my diary??lol That is exactly how I feel. I want to be that submissive lady... But trusting him is what stands in my way.

Re: Break the Damn Chains

Qna5837 — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 14:54:00 -0000

This is undeniably true!!!

Re: Dear “The Wife of Him”

Larrydmiller — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 03:40:34 -0000

As a mistress it is important that you know and understand your role. Writing a letter or any means of contact to the wife of the man you are cheating with will in no doubt put an end to you as the jump off. Get yourself a copy of How to cheat and not get busted. Definition of a jump off from the book How to cheat and not get busted: The woman or man on the side. Someone you jump on and jump off.

Re: Dear “The Wife of Him”

PMFT — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 22:30:18 -0000

She sounds really stupid. Also...she just ended her affair b/c that man is going to drop her like a hot potato for contacting his wife.

Re: Self Love Is the Best Love

Stephanieb — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 12:59:20 -0000

Whe u come to work bitter and mean spirited everyday its not a good look. U should take ur own advice and really use it.

Re: I Won’t Apologize for Checking His Cell Phone

leressa — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 01:23:46 -0000

I agree with this article 100%... we spend too much time talking ourselves out of looking for fear of looking insecure or crazy or any other of 100 names that you can think of. I think most women just want to know that they CAN look through your phone, wallet, etc. Most days we wont, unless you give us reason to. People who have nothing to hide do not go all mission impossible in order to hide their phone, keep it on silent in you presence, double password protect or any of that kind of tom foolery.

Re: The Other Side of the Game

Larrydmiller — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 10:43:22 -0000

He may say he forgives you but he'll never forget. Men tend to be more territorial with their women.
Once he knows another man has tasted his fruit the image is very difficult for him to erase.

Re: You Can’t Handle the Truth

Chris Moorehead — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 01:28:24 -0000

Put this one in the pile of" YOU GET WHAT YOU ASK FOR" If a man you never met before walks up to you and tells you he wants to F&*@ you, he has no respect for you what so ever ! and its only going to go down hill from there. Then he is going to tell all his homies so they can smash too! Eventualy you will begin to notice these men and others that you never met before snickering when they see you. You will notice verbal comments getting more and more disrespectful Until one day instead telling you "I " want to F*&% you" He is going to say " I AM GOING TO F*&% YOU!".As in i am taking it because you dont respect your stuff so why should I ? and why should m two homies I brought with me!.........Tyrone grab her legs she likes it.

Re: Getting Back to Me

Fire2blaze1 — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 19:44:17 -0000

Wendee you know who I am ya big bruh Blaze!!!! I Love you for the woman and mother you are and always areand great friend to me thank you for sharing with me. if you need u know how to get @ me always!!!! Just Blaze

Re: Husband Store

Dianamartin312 — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 13:08:07 -0000

I love it!

Re: My Open Letter

Joann Travis — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 11:06:09 -0000

I feel you 100%. I have done the same thing before, tried to take my life, unsuccessfully. I took twenty muscle relaxers 3 weeks ago and all it made me do was feel like gumby. I have beautiful children, grandchildren, etc. I wanted to leave them because of a no-good guy who WILL NOT stop cheating on me. Nevertheless, I broke it off with him two days ago. I used to cry so much that I don't think I have any tears left. You see, he had a female at his house, cooking her dinner, wine and dine. WOW! I was heartbroken, but I cannot cry. I hurt, real real real badly, but I can't cry. I pray everyday all day long, and I believe the man above is guiding me through this. When I read your story it touched my heart deeply because I feel your pain. So, today is a new day for me. I am not sad, I am not happy, but I am here. Thanks so much for sharing OUR story. It will help with my healing processing. Take Care and Trust GOD!

Re: Guide for the Football Season

Lahle Strong — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 12:48:16 -0000

Love the advice Luv , but don't forget the guys and girls who also spend a good amount of time on College Football on Saturday afternoons.

Re: Guide for the Football Season

caramelle — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 12:04:27 -0000

A dude that is so consumed into football to the extent this piece describes is more than likely single rather he knows it or not. While he's worrying about his woman following the rules, he needs to wonder what(who) she's doing while he's glued to the tv. P.S. Most guys that operate the way htis piece describes are usually the same ones who piss and moan about their woman being on the phone, internet, or at the mall too much.

Re: Assuming They Are ‘The One’

Sharon Glover — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 18:55:42 -0000

This is so on point...~sighs~

Re: Assuming They Are ‘The One’

Margarita Lewis — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 20:36:25 -0000

"In the beginning you are meeting their representative..."
Damn - harsh but true, too true...great read Luv.

Re: Assuming They Are ‘The One’

King Antonitus — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 16:21:03 -0000

good read!

Re: Letter to an Ex

Luvologist — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 14:59:59 -0000

No problem, Margarita. I don't know what to say about your comment because everything you said made sense. Thank you for reading.

Re: Letter to an Ex

Margarita Lewis — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 02:23:17 -0000

when you see or are part of a former couple that at one time was HAPPY, it is heartbreaking to see the only thing they talk about is the end....for the most part things end badly otherwise they wouldn't be ending right?

But this piece opened the door to consider if we continue to treat those we Luv (or at one time Luv-ed) with respect and with a regard for them as a friend, the end could possibly be a transition to the new level of your relationship versus a complete and total loss of everything you ever had...I am rambling but this touched me, has me thinking and I just wanted to THANK YOU for sharing so selflessly...

Re: Letter to an Ex

Luvologist — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 19:42:08 -0000

There were plenty of good times, I just didn't mention them because I wanted to respect the privacy of the woman who is supposed to be the recipient of this letter.

In my eyes, she was THE prize. I didn't look at her as a piece of ass I wanted to conquer. I saw her spirit. I guess that's where you feel the "I told you so" came in because MORE THAN ANYTHING I wanted to let her know she was fifteen times better than what she is doing even if she didn't believe it herself because I saw the genuineness (is that a word, LOL) in her. In my opinion, there wasn't an "I told you so" because that's not a part of my personality. What I was trying to get across was she was not "average" and didn't deserve to be with "average men". I think of her as a remarkable woman with such good qualities.

You said: "I've never understood it but it seems like when you become close and really start to care about someone it becomes harder to keep honest lines of communication open. I guess you try and avoid hurting their feelings or you dont want them to see you in anything but a positive light."

Here's the thing. I love her for WHO SHE IS... not WHAT SHE DID (or does). There's a HUGE difference between the two. How could I look at her negatively when I saw who she was as a PERSON and as a SPIRIT, I can disagree with her actions but that doesn't change who I feel about a person. An "average" person will love a person for what they do for them... not for the person they truly are.

In the end, I would've much rather heard the truth to made me cry rather than a lie that made me smile.

Was it therapeutic?

::scratching my chin::
::looking in the air::
((deep sigh))

Re: Letter to an Ex

Myria Plater Ming — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 19:07:26 -0000

Hey LUV,

Im sorry this happened to you. You strike me as the type of person that doesn't open up and let people in often and when you do you tend to expect more...than the "average" guy. And thats okay because you probably give more than the "average" guy in return.

Im not sure I was able to see any of the "GOOD" times being remembered in your letter and there is a bit of "I told you so" implied in the under currents. Buy I was also able to see that you loved her, and you were willing to be her FRIEND as well as her LOVER. Maybe it was easier for you because you knew what to expect from your lifestyle.....sometimes when we really want something we believe that we can get past all the hurtles to happiness. Im sure she believed that she could handle it at the time.

What really touched me was that you realized she was a PRIZE even if she never will. I know that is something that almost every woman struggles with (including me from time to time). We forget that everything that happens in a relationship is filtered through what we (as women) allow to happen or not happen.

I've never understood it but it seems like when you become close and really start to care about someone it becomes harder to keep honest lines of communication open. I guess you try and avoid hurting their feelings or you dont want them to see you in anything but a positive light. I guess I can consider the ability to do so the sign of a really good relationship.

What I want to know Luv is was it therapuetic for YOU to write the letter?

Re: Letter to an Ex

Luvologist — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 17:03:10 -0000

((grinning)) It's okay he feels that way. At least you know deep down you did everything you could.

Re: Letter to an Ex

Luvologist — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 16:57:19 -0000

You're right. There is ALWAYS two sides to every story. But how often do you hear both sides... especially from a man?

It's always assumed that a woman's disloyalty comes from a man's actions. It's said "He HAD to have done something wrong because WOMEN don't do that type of thing." That's like saying pastors don't do any indiscretions. But that's a whole nother story for another blog post.

Lost in all of this was UNDERSTANDING her point of view. It CLEARLY shows that in the letter that I understood. She just never TALKED to me about it. There was no communication.

Did I do some things wrong? Probably? But including that, wouldn't that be giving her an excuse as to what she did and to justify it?

Or maybe it's hard to believe that a MAN can have feelings. Or is he is supposed to open his black book... bang the next chick and go on to the next. Isn't that what "average" people do?

This is my version. Just like one hears ALL OF THE TIME that "baby daddies aint ish" and men have to swallow it and no one EVER hears the other side of the story. They just assume that "men aint ish". That's part of the reason why there are issues in relationships today.

Swallow this one-sided story. Men have swallowed it for years. Let's just say... you as a woman... can FINALLY get an idea as to what's in a man's heart.

And I STILL forgive her.

Re: Letter to an Ex

Kimberly Christian — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 16:33:48 -0000

OMG---This letter is very one-sided. You never spoke of your part in the whole thing. She may have made of bad choice in leaving but MAYBE not. Allow her to be the one to tell you this. Has she? Were there any good times in your relationship? How long had you two dated? You finally spoke of your travels with your profession which may have defined the problem along with her disloyalty; if that was the case. I wonder what she would say. Always rememeber that there two sides to every story.

Wishing you luck the next time around..

Re: Letter to an Ex

Luvologist — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 14:09:22 -0000

((smiling)) You're right... you don't know the full details. And you're right, there is part of the blame that falls on me. So, I'll give you a little bit of background and then... you can be the judge.

I travel for a living. I'm probably "home" once every seven to eight weeks or so. There were some things that happened that I was gone a little bit longer than expected. When I started the relationship with her I told her that handling this type of relationship was going to be a little tough because I was always gone. She said she could handle it. My "mistake" was thinking that she could handle the fact that I was gone all of the time. I took her at her word.

It got to the point that I told her, maybe it would be best if she looked elsewhere because I couldn't be there for her "physically" like she wanted. She refused. In fact, she was insulted and she thought I was trying to give her away. All I wanted was her happiness.

She didn't tell me of her "other endeavors". She had EVERY RIGHT to seek something elsewhere. But she didn't speak to me about it. She hid it. If she spoke to me there would've been a different outcome.

No one's perfect. I'm not perfect. I don't think I made myself out to be perfect in this letter. If you can tell, there was not an angry tone to it. I'm not disgruntled. Could I have done things a little differently? Yes... maybe I could've came "home" sooner. Maybe I could've could've tried to convince her that I was "The One". Maybe I shouldn't have gotten involved with her to begin with because my feeling in my gut kinda knew who she was. Maybe I could've fought harder. But what I learned is that once a woman's mind is made up there really isn't nothing you can do about it.

I accepted MY responsibility. I wasn't perfect. But in the end... she wasn't perfect either.